#WarriorQueenSpeaks

 Hey Y'all it's the WarriorQueen!!  Sorry I've been off my issue, but I'm back now and baby I've been busy!! As the Executive Producer of Word On Da Street W/Judah....we have been blessed.  I've been doing good health wise, but my A1C number is high and in the Prediabetic stages. So, I'm monitoring my sugar intake until I get a chance to get to a PCP.  Now, since the Rona has gained momentum once again things have slowed down...ughhhhhhh!!!! Folks were so ready to turn up, and now look...we are all going right back in the house‼️💯 This pandemic has taught ya girl a lot; especially about herself. I've learned patience on a Jedi Master level frfr🤣🤣🤷🏿‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️ I've also learned that being a Boss & a Powerful Black Woman just makes the misogyny jump right on up out of some of these men, and to be honest in 2021 it's kind of disgusting. I've never been a weak Woman in ever, and I Damn sure won't start now!!!! I am the Executive Produ...

 Man, so I have been adjusting to this new body and it has definitely taken some getting used to.  It is so weird to get the body you have literally dreamed of.  I can't lie I am so scared that I will gain weight and lose this all, but I know that won't happen at all because I am being careful. Now, mentally it has been taxing....like I have no idea sometimes because I am so overwhelmed at times.  Even when I look in the mirror I see someone else, and that has been my struggle.  I have closed myself off to the world because I am in such a protection mode that it's crazy!  I have allowed myself to almost become a hermit if it is not work related.  Like, I haven't done anything but work, and I need to have fun, but my trust is a whole other issue.  "Life can only be what you make it," Mary J. Blige.  Y'all, I have made my life so solitary that it is a damn shame. I am working on getting past that, and I am really going to put myself out there, ...

 💯Man, this is so crazy yo!!💯  I've been waiting for this date for over a year.  November 3, 2020, will be like a rebirth for me physically.  Like, I am actually excited, nervous, anxious, etc.  I mean this is one of the biggest surgeries I have ever had.  I mean the mastectomy was a huge deal, but this is Breast DIEP Flap surgery; DIEP stands for Deep Inferior Epigastric Perforator.  With the DIEP Flap surgery the lower abdominal skin and fat is removed without having to harvest any of the rectus abdominis muscle.  Then, with the skin and fat from my stomach the plastic surgeons will reconstruct me a new breast, and perform a lift on the other breast to make them even.  Oh and I will be having my stomach muscles tightened up and hernia removed as well.  I won't have a bellybutton, but my plastic surgeon says he can make me a pretty one a later date!!!   I can't lie ya girl is LIT ASF about getting this surgery done, but more...

No one will ever understand how traumatic it is to look down and see a huge, ugly scar where your breast used to be. It does make you feel less feminine and less beautiful. Maybe not all, but surely in my case. When I put on certain shirts, it really looks awkward, so I usually have to change my shirt at least twice to find one that looks ok on me. My mind still has a hard time comprehending what has happened in my life. I've been under an extreme amount of stress, and I'm praying that I don't have a breakdown. Sometimes I just want to run away, but what would that help? Some days I'm super strong, and on other days I'm barely holding on. My memory has been effected by the chemo, and it has started to become more noticeable as time moves on. My nerves are definitely damaged, and I'm wonder after my surgery if I'll have any feeling in my breasts? Right now, I don't have any feeling under my arm where the 8 lymph nodes were removed, and I have no fee...

Today has been hellish to say the least, but the veil has been lifted!! I have literally been lying to myself, about everyone and everything because I thought I was helping, but in doing so I hurt me and my princes.  I don't need anyone acting like they care when they truly don't. If you are going to talk about me please be sure you have all the facts because talking out the side of ya neck is frowned upon by me.  Every since the cancer has left people act as if my life automatically jumped back to normal.  Uh...no the hell it didn't!! I'm sitting here right now with 1 normal breast, 1 amputated breast but stuffed with a expander that feels like a brick, I'm still in constant pain with this left arm that's not fully functional, and people just made it up in their mind that I'm healed...bullshit!!! Who tf are you? For this past year I've lived through hell. No income, No car, No home of my own, period. I only worked for 1 month last year because of the ...

Well, this is an interesting year so far. Let's just say I will definitely be getting my ass up outta here. I'm so tired of folks acting like I fucking chose to have cancer. Just because I'm cancer-free does not mean I'm 100% healthy. People would rather see me hospitalized, sick from chemo treatment, and broke down because in their eyes I guess that's "Cancer". What is wrong with people?? I've had the last few months to really get back to some sense of normalcy. To really be able to enjoy just not feeling or being sick.  Is that too much to ask? Of course it is🙄*hard ass eye roll* because people know exactly what the hell I'm going through. They can't and won't EVER BE ABLE TO feel nor understand my pain physically, mentally, and emotionally. No one stresses about where they live or are going to live, but I have since day 1. I cannot afford anybody's rent right now,  and I can't work at anyone's job because of upcoming surge...

So, I've had my mastectomy, my drains removed (scars from my drains), and now I'm getting expanded for my reconstructive surgery.  You see things have changed, but I'm still gonna keep it pushing. I'm moving into Goddess from Queen level up mode. This mode requires me to protect me and my energy at all times. You see I know that there is one waiting for the worse, but I'm the one that just hurt your feelings. You see, I'm going to always be A-1 ya dig!!! This cancer did it's thang to me physically, mentally, and emotionally I can't lie about that, but now I'm in control like my girl Janet said. I don't care if you think I'm ugly or bald headed because I'm still cute with dimples and the hips of a Goddess in the words of Trina...I'm the baddest. So, many have worried about all the wrong ish, and it's ok. Because you can't understand what you haven't and hopefully won't ever have to go thru with this cancer shit. My ...