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Forever Changed

No one will ever understand how traumatic it is to look down and see a huge, ugly scar where your breast used to be.
It does make you feel less feminine and less beautiful. Maybe not all, but surely in my case. When I put on certain shirts, it really looks awkward, so I usually have to change my shirt at least twice to find one that looks ok on me. My mind still has a hard time comprehending what has happened in my life. I've been under an extreme amount of stress, and I'm praying that I don't have a breakdown.

Sometimes I just want to run away, but what would that help?
Some days I'm super strong, and on other days I'm barely holding on. My memory has been effected by the chemo, and it has started to become more noticeable as time moves on. My nerves are definitely damaged, and I'm wonder after my surgery if I'll have any feeling in my breasts? Right now, I don't have any feeling under my arm where the 8 lymph nodes were removed, and I have no feeling where my left breast used to be.

I've been broken, wounded, emotionally all over the place, and to add fuel to the fire social security keeps denying me disability, my car was totaled in a accident, and I don't have my own home, which is pretty much everything. Even if I just had a car it would be a lot easier for me and my WarriorPrinces to make things happen.

Yes, these are my raw emotions, and it sucks feeling this way, but it's healthy because not every day is amazingly great. But no matter what, I am beyond grateful and blessed to be cancer free and in the land of the living.
#WarriorQueen #NewLifeWhoDis #TNBCSurvivor #WarriorPrinces

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