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Paused

I feel like I'm on pause. I can't move forward until I get well. I can't do anything, and it hurts. I can't do anything with my kids because I'm tired asf. I want to talk, but then I don't because I don't wanna complain. I'm so damn weird!! It's like I don't wanna burden anyone with my illness.

Constant bone & joint pain, constant nerve pain....what else can hurt ya know.  Oh yeah my heart, my emotions are all over the place, but I try to be strong. Truth be told, I'm an emotional mess. How do you handle your emotions, but you not want to conceived as weak.

Cancer and chemo are nothing to play with! They will break you, and it's in every aspect of breaking, physically, emotionally, and mentally.  Then you see everyone else living their best life, while you are just trying to live, period. I try to find happiness on my good days, but those are few and far in between. I always feel better about 3-4 days before I have to have chemo again. So, I try to do things, anything just to feel normal.

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