Ugh...the days before chemo always depress me the most. I'll spend my whole year getting well, and hopefully next year will be what I need. I'm just feeling really sad and alone right now. It sucks because this just can't be talked about with anyone unless you've been through it, and know what your body and mind goes through😔 I try to do things to get my mind on other stuff, but I only get a few good days before chemo comes again. More would be better, but I'm grateful for what I have. Maybe today is just a depression type of day. Cancer won't rule me, but it damn sure does break a sista down. I can't be there for the people who need me the most...so I'm just hoping for the best.
I'm going to beat this, period!! Yesterday was chemo day, and I'm not feeling it at all. I'm so tired, nauseous, swollen, and achy. I'm also losing my hair now, and it takes about a week for it to be completely gone. Not sure how I feel about this tbh. I'm glad I'm shaved my head so that I'm be kinda prepared. I think I would've freaked out finding chunks of hair in my bed or on my pillow. This feeling of going to sleep and waking up with cancer is crazy as heck!! It's hard for me not to feel lonely because no one can really understand what I'm going through. But, my support system is absolutely amazing!! I couldn't ask for anything more. It's just so hard because I still try to be like I wa before cancer. I try to do things, be active, and when I do too much my body will sit me down. The mind is willing, but the body isn't. Let's not mention eating...ugh!! Nothing has taste, and nausea won't let me be great!! So, I drin...
Comments
Post a Comment