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Showing posts from July, 2019

The Princes

You know what hurts the most about this journey? Not being able to do for my Princes what I once could. Being unable to work I have no steady, good money coming in, and at the moment I don't have a car. It's so hard to listen to them tell me what they want, and I have no way to provide it. Yes, they understand it, but it still hurts me because they aren't used to this. I always come through when they need me, but now it's totally different. They truly only care about spending time with me, and I love  them so much for  that. But, they have needs and necessities, and I'm not sure how we've made it this far, but we are still here. I miss having fun with them so much! I miss having a home for us as well! It has literally been almost 2 years since we've had our own place to live. For a while, I was so pissed because I always have to go through hell when I watch others get it so easy. I mean, what did I do so bad? Am I being punished for making a bad decision ...

Thoughts

Well, next week starts up my next string of appointments. Surgery is drawing near, and I'm getting a little anxious. I just want everything to go as it should. This battle is far from over, and I know that but I miss having my own stuff ( my own house, car, etc). This life altering change has been hard😔 I still feel like a burden. I want to say so much, but don't know where to begin. Right now I just feel like I'm just stuck, and I miss my kids so much😥😢 I'll feel better for a few days, and think "Hey, I can work. " Then, reality hits me square in the face,  "Ma'am sat down. You can't do anything." So, I sit, sleep, eat, fight with these hot flashes, and wait until the next day.  Not to mention being broke doesn't help either.  This journey is hard and tedious, but it's mine to fight. TNBC is difficult. But, the journey always gets harder before it gets easier. Guess I'm just brand new. #WarriorQueen