#WarriorQueenSpeaks

So, this is my scar where my port was implanted. That dark mark above that is a tube that runs down the inside of my neck. This thing had been giving me the blues this week, but that's what comes along with this chemo battle. You see, every time I go to chemo they have to access my port to give me the medicine. How do they access it you say? Well, I get stuck with a little hook like needle every time. Now, this is after I come from lab where I get stuck in the arm🤦🏾‍♀️ I've been poked and prodded so much that I'm beginning to despise all needles. Each time my port is accessed it is hella painful. I slide down that chair every time hunny, but then I recover. Next, I get to sit for 2 hours through 4-5 bags of IV chemo meds. Then, my OBI(On Body Injector) is attached to my stomach. I have to wait until that little needle sticks me as before I can leave chemo. You see, with the OBI medicine I don't have to go back to the doctor to get the steroid shot. The OBI gives m...

Hey y'all! Today I'm dealing with 'Facing my Face'. I used to think that my skin was bad, and my acne was the devil!! But, when I look back I clearly can say that my 1-4 bumps every now and again ain't nothing to now. Like, I literally wake up every day with new bumps on my face. These bumps are painful, come in all sizes, and can just kill a sista's whole spirit. Your skin becomes so sensitive that everything causes it to burn, itch, and hurt. I have to take Gabapentin to try and control my nerves because this Peripheral  Neuropathy is awful. My feet were on fire and just hurt like you would not believe. I really can't be on my feet for what seems like any long or short periods of time. Then, it effects your hands making them burn, itch, and hurt. Like, it actually can get so painful that it feels like millions of electric shocks at once. You guys this stuff is no joke. I need everyone to please be sure that you do your home self checks. If you are if ag...

So, I'm on my new chemo medicine,  and it is a beast...we call it the "red dragon". We call it that because it is blood red, and the side effects are a damn beast🐉 This medication keeps me nauseous, and has dramatically changed my skin. I literally have bumps all over my face, in my ears, in my brows, and on my head. And, they hurt like the dickens. When I look in the mirror it makes me wanna cry... which I'm sure is coming soon. Like, my face has changed dramatically and I can't even wear makeup anymore. My skin is so sensitive to every little thing. All of this happening makes me realize mentally that my beauty is deeper within. I realized that I was still partially hiding behind my makeup because I didn't feel as beautiful as I thought. You know what days that I know I'm beautiful...chemo days. Because I genuinely take my time, and get myself ready makeup and all. Now this week will be my first week not wearing makeup to chemo because my skin is too ...

Right now, I feel as if I have no control over how my body feels or acts. That feeling can definitely be a bummer frfr.  I just started my new chemo meds on Tuesday, and I can tell you that I'll definitely be losing weight on these meds. I stay nauseous as hell, food is not my forte, and I'm just weak. The good thing is; I only have 3 more doses of this before surgery and then radiation.  On another note, I also had my second biopsy on my right breast on yesterday 05/02/2019. This one went much easier and better than my first one. This one was an MRI guided biopsy. Everything was done by the machine which was actually kind of chill. The only thing that freaked me out; was the sound that the machine made when it was taking the tissue samples. It sounded like a drill going in to do work🤯🤦🏾‍♀️. I was like, "Lawd Hammercy, I'm getting worked on like a cabinet drawer." 🤷🏾‍♀️😊🤣 But, I felt no pain, the dr's and nurses were & are amazing💯💯💯I really d...

Do you ever just stare at yourself in the mirror? I mean just really look at yourself...I did this morning. And it takes a toll on me every time. My skin is crazy sensitive, I'm breaking out all over, and even my  head had bumps on it😔I'm so not ok with this. I want to feel pretty & beautiful again...